From Baby To Toddler
Tomorrow my baby turns two. TWO!? I know in ten years, his first few years of life will be a meshed together memory. But right now as I watch my one-year-old-for-only-another-day baby run around, I can’t help but feel like come Wednesday he will be heading off to college.
The Gift of Watching Them Grow
Recently, while at dinner with the hub’s childhood friend, I mentioned how bittersweet it is to watch your little one grow up. Our friend chuckled and said “now I don’t have kids, so maybe I just don’t know but don’t you want him to grow up?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at how crazy moms can get when it comes to emotions because logically YES! Of course, I am thrilled, blessed, and so happy that my baby is celebrating his second year here on Earth. Moms wish for nothing more than happy, healthy children and birthdays are a reminder of the blessings of good health.
But at the same time, I am sad. I am sad because two years old feels so far from the tiny baby I brought home. Two years old means he is growing older and more independent and therefore less dependent on me.
It means that all those older members of the tribe were right when they said ‘enjoy it now because it goes by too quickly!’. Time really, really is going by too quickly and sadly there is nothing I can do to slow it down.
The Emotional Side of Growing Up
So here I am on the eve of my tiny tot’s second birthday processing a whole slew of (probably a bit pregnancy-induced) emotions as I think back over the last two years.
I can’t help but notice how much, not only he has grown, but myself too.
Whoever said it was right, it isn’t just a baby that is born that delivery day, so is a mother.
Two Years Ago
This time two years ago I was a nervous yet probably overly confident mom-to-be. In the months leading up to Asher’s birth, I had checked all the to-do’s off the “Before Baby” lists.
His room was ready, his clothes were washed and folded, I was ready, so, so ready…or so I thought. I really thought the hardest part would be the two days I spent laboring to get him Earthside.
Oh how little I knew! In the following months, I would experience emotions that would change so quickly I wondered about my mental status. Countless times I would cry because I was certain I was failing him.
I would love him so deeply I was afraid my heart might burst. He would do the cutest thing and I just HAD to get it on camera. And then I would laugh at myself for basically stalking my newborn baby.
I would tell my husband that yes, in fact, he was the perfect child! I would learn to survive on less sleep than I ever thought possible. Sometimes due to marathon nursing sessions, other times due to the fact that I am a mom and when they sleep longer than three hours we just have to poke them to make sure they are still breathing.
I would grow from the young, naive woman I was, into a mom. In the last two years I have grown to be stronger and more resilient than ever before, all while learning to see the simple joys in life all over again. And all of this growth I have to thank a small nearly two-year-old boy for.
The Blessing of the Last Two Years
Each day for the last two years this little boy has filled our lives with so much joy and happiness that I can’t thank God enough for him.
This time last year he was babbling about who knows what with his long “hippy” hair (so says the hubs, I loved his tiny curls) and now I have a little boy in my home. He loves construction equipment, Hotwheel cars, and Reggie Roo.
He has opinions that he is amazingly good at articulating: “Quiet please!” (don’t talk while he is watching his construction videos or enjoying a ride in the car, so we’ve learned).
Our little dude is growing up so quickly and no matter how much I plead with God time will not slow down and so instead tonight I kissed the head of my nearly two year old and I vow to continue striving each day to enjoy all the little moments before he grows up and heads off to college.